SEASON 4 FANFICLove and Memories
by merder4everandever
Summary: The Seattle Grace docs come back for another year of love, drama, and defeat. With Lexie in the picture what is this going to mean for the rest of out hot docs? EVERYONE has something to hide...


Mer V.O.: Hurt (shows cristina lying on her and Burke's bead staring out the window) Pain (shows Derek filling out a chart staring straight ahead, you can tell he is upset) Betrayal (shows burke driving in his car) Lies (shows George sitting on a bench outside the hospital) Truths (shows izzie baking and sobbing) Jealousy (shows Bailey with her hands on her head) anger (shows Alex sitting on the floor of the locker room in deep thought) shock (shows callie looking at her pregnancy test results: positive) hope (Richard and Adele talking and holding hands) torn (shows mark watching Addison looking out the huge window of the hospital drinking her coffee) change ( shows a close up of Addison's face) All words that tell us who we are, where we are going, and what we are going to do (shows mer in burkes apartment making coffee for cristina) But most of the times, we have no clue…

Mer: Cristina (knocks on door) I made coffee. Cristina come on I know you're in there! (Opens door) Cristina….

Cristina: I don't want coffee (still staring out the window)

Mer: Come on, we have work in 30 minutes and you haven't slept…

Cristina: I'm fine, Meredith…

Mer: No your not! Please, just drink the coffee and I'll help you get ready for work…

(Cristina doesn't move)

Mer: Cristina!

Cristina: I'm not a toddler Meredith, just leave! I want to be alone; I can take care of myself!

Mer: (sighs) Okay, if you need anything call…

(Cristina doesn't say anything; Mer goes out of Burke's apartment very worried about Cristina… and her relationship with Derek)

(Izzie is baking)

Izzie (muttering to herself): Burke dumped cristina at the alter, callie might be pregnant, I confessed my love to George, callie is the fricken boss of me, I start my residency today, and I'm home alone talking to myself. My life officially sucks!

(Mer comes in)

Mer: Hey

Izzie: Hey, how is-

Mer: horrible.

(Izzie looks down and stirs her cake batter mix harder)

Mer: I don't know what to do

Izzie: Burke seemed so sure. I heard his vows. They were beautiful. They seemed happy and in love, and yet-

Mer: There's no happily every after Iz

Izzie (pauses): I wish there was

Mer: (sighs) Me too….

(Derek is walking down the hall when he runs into Richard)

Chief: Derek…

Der: Chief…

Chief: I heard about the wedding.

Der: Yeah….

Chief: (pauses) I really do believe you can be Chief, Derek. Are you sure you don't want this cause it seemed like-

Der: I thought I did. I thought being chief was the most important thing to me. But it isn't, not anymore. It's not the most important…

Chief: It's not the most important thing to me either

(Mer walks into the locker room. She thinks she is the only one in there until she sees Alex)

Mer: Oh, hey, didn't see you there

Alex: Mer, I need to talk to you

Mer: Sure, what's up?

Alex: Uh, I think I did something bad. Like really bad

Mer: What…

Alex: You know Eva, well Rebecca?

Mer: Yeah…

Alex: I fell in love with her, and let her go. I let her go with her husband. She, she wanted me to say I love you. She loved me. But I didn't, I told her to go with her decent husband. I told her to…I told her to go away from me. And now…

Mer: Oh Alex, I, I'm so sorry

Alex: Yeah, but at least you have somebody to love…

(Mer looks down)

(New interns come into locker room)

Bill: Wow, we're half way there! We're interns!

Tim: Yeah, at the toughest surgical program out there, we're going to have to bust our asses.

Lexie: It'll be worth it in the end

Annie: Hopefully…

(The 4 see Alex and mer)

Lexie: oh hey, we are the new interns here. We just wanted to check out the locker room a bit earlier, sorry if we interrupted anything…

Mer: Oh no, we were just talking. I'm Meredith and this is Alex. First year residents

Bill: So you were last year's interns?

Alex: Yep

Annie: How was it?

Alex: I don't want to ruin the surprise… (Alex gets up and leaves)

Mer: You'll do fine, excuse me (walks out with Alex)

Lexie: (looks at her locker and mumbles to herself doubtfully): We'll do fine…

(izzie comes out and sits on the bench next to George)

Izzie: Hey, I baked some pound cake if you want any…

George: Uh, yeah, thanks Iz…

Izzie: George, you weren't at the wedding, and you didn't say anything about…

George: I know

Izzie: And you and Callie are having a baby?

George: We're uh, trying to…

(Izzie stares down then touches George's shoulder)

Izzie: George, I know its none of my business but do you think having a kid at this time is the best idea?

George: You're right, it isn't your business

Izzie (looking hurt): Fine, well then come on, the chief wants to talk to us about our residency and you don't want to be late

George: Yeah, I'm not going

Izzie: What?

George: I uh, have to get re-assigned to a new resident

Izzie: George, what are you talking about?

(George looks at izzie)

George: I failed the test Izzie

(Meredith is walking down the hall when she bumps into Derek)

Meredith: Oh hi, sorry

Derek: Yeah, it's okay

(They stand there for a little bit not talking)

Derek: Is it, I mean, are we…done?

Mer: Uh, I, well, I'm not really sure…

Derek: It's a yes or no answer. I'm not waiting forever…

Mer (starts to cry lightly): I'm sorry Derek

Derek (looking very hurt): Is this what you want?

Mer: No, but I don't have any hope anymore

Der (starts to get teary-eyed): Well, (clears his throat) then okay. We're done.

Mer: Derek I am-

De: I have a surgery…

(Derek leaves hurt and upset. Meredith stands there for a little bit, then puts her hands on her head and starts to cry)

(Cristina arrived at the hospital in sweatpants and a sweatshirt. Her hair in a messy bun above her head. And eyeliner stained her cheeks from all the tears she had cried the night before. How could he? How could HER burke leave her like that? She went up to bailey)

Cristina: Sorry I'm late…

Bailey: Cristina, I understand that a lot has happened, take the day off. Clear your head, its fine.

(Cristina gives her an "are you kidding me?!" look)

Bailey: Unless you would like to assist me on Shepherd craniotomy?

Cristina: YES!

Bailey: Okay, scrub in

Cristina: Thank you Dr. Bailey, oh and is Dr. Burke in today?

Bailey (pauses): No, I'm sorry he's not.

(cristina leaves and the chief walks up to bailey, bailey ignores him)

Chief: Come on Miranda you can't just keep avoiding me!

Bailey: When are we going to tell Cristina?

Chief (sighs): Give her time. She needs time. We don't tell her till she has scrubbed in on a couple surgeries

Bailey: Fine

Chief: Miranda I gave Torres chief resident for a reason.

Bailey: Really? Is she more skilled than me? NO! Does she put in that extra 5 hours? NO!

Chief: That's EXACTLY why I picked her and not you!

Bailey: What?

Chief: Being chief of anything can get to your head. You have a family, a family who loves you. Don't throw that away for some silly chief position. Put your family and loved ones first Miranda! NOT your job!

(chief walks away, bailey watches him leave then goes to scrub in with cristina and Derek)

(Derek, Cristina, and bailey are in the OR)

Derek: Okay Yang, here is the clot; you can do the honors of pulling it out. Make sure you pull it out piece by piece, and very slowly

Cristina: Got it

Bailey: Very good Yang.

Cristina: Maybe not having Burke around is good after all. I mean no more distractions, no more relationship, and no more commitments. It's a good thing…right?

(Derek and bailey look at each other)

Bailey: Well yeah, maybe not getting chief resident is a good thing too. I get to spend time with Tucker and Will. You know, actually have a family. I think everything happens for a reason.

Derek: I don't, I've lost hope

(Callie is rushing to get to the locker room to meet her new interns when she sees George)

Callie(very excited): HEY you!!! I need to talk to you!!!!

George (in a bad mood): What

Callie: Hey cranky I'm not going to tell you if your not excited!!

George: (smiles): Fine, what?

Callie: IM PREGNANT!!!! IT HAPPENED!!!! WE'RE HAVING A BABY!!!! (Callie starts jumping up and down and laughing.)

George: Wow, really?

Callie: Yep! Took the test this morning!! Can you believe it! Oh my god I have to tell my mom and dad, and pick out a crib, get baby clothes, and all other motherly things!

George: Wow, Callie that's great

Callie (realizes that George isn't happy): Why aren't you excited

George: No, I am. (Kisses Callie) I am excited (George leaves. Callie watches George go then looks at izzie who is filling out a chart and the nurse's station)

(Meredith is sitting at the cafeteria w/ Alex playing with her food)

Mer: you were wrong

Alex: What?

Mer: In the locker room, you said I have somebody to love…well, I don't

Alex: Yea you do! You have Shepherd!

Mer: I broke up with him

Alex (silent for a minute): Dude, seriously?

Mer: I know, I know…it was stupid right? Was it stupid?

Alex: (sighs) maybe…

(Lexie and Annie come up to them)

Annie: Hey, you were the 2 in the locker room earlier, right?

Mer: That's us

Lexie: We're really sorry to bother you, but do you know where Chief Webber's office is?

Alex: Across the hall to your left.

Lexie: Thanks, I'm so bad at navigating. I always need someone to tell me where to go; I was a lot like my mom. She was great. She helped me and was supportive but she couldn't navigate and… oh gosh, sorry I'm rambling. I tend to do that a lot, I think I get that from my dad, but I'm uhm really sorry…

Alex: She rambles, I'm used to it

Mer (hits Alex): its fine, like he said, I ramble too!

(Lexie smiles)

Lexie: Okay well then, thanks!

Mer: Bye

(Lexie and Annie leave)

Alex: She's hot!

Mer: She reminds me of someone. I can't put my finger on it, but she reminds me of someone….

Alex: She reminds me of you!

(Mark is walking up to Addison who is sitting on a bench outside the hospital)

Mark: Hey

Addie: I'm done Mark

Mark: What?  
Addie: I'm done with Seattle. I'm done with Seattle Grace. I'm done with not being happy.

Mark: You're not happy?

Addie: No, I'm not…I need to get out.

(Addison gets up and starts to go inside the hospital)

Mark: Addison!

(Addison turns around)

Addison: Yeah?

Mark: You're leaving?

Addison: I am, and this time….it's for good

(Derek comes out of surgery looking upset; mer notices this and comes up to him)

Mer: Look, you don't have to talk to me, you don't have to say anything, just listen. Burke and Cristina were in love. They were in love and thought they were happy. They were my hope. Cristina is my person. We're alike in so many ways, and you and burke are alike in so many ways. Cristina walking down that aisle was a sign for me, a sign that we could make it, a sign that I could be happy. It was a good sign….but; Cristina didn't walk down that aisle. Burke left her. After seeing that, I didn't have hope anymore. If Cristina and Burke can't be happy, then how will we ever be? If Cristina, my person, couldn't be happy, how could me and my screwed up life be happy. They were my hope.

Der: Why can't I be your hope? Why can't loving me be your hope?

Mer (pauses): Because you hurt me before. When I had all the hope in the world, your wife showed up. How can I trust that hope again? There's no happy ending Derek…

Der: Yes there are, you just don't believe in them. Eventually, in time, there can be happy endings. But you have to trust me and love me, and most importantly YOU have to be happy. I know I have walked away from you a lot in the past, but I'm not walking away again. So the question is, are you sticking to our relationship? Or are you walking away?

(Derek leaves and Meredith watches him go, unsure what to do next)

Mer V.O: The truth is, we don't know who we are. We can be people who change for the better (goes to Addison and the chief)

Chief: Are you sure you want to do this?

Addison: I'm sure…LA is the best place for me right now

Chief: Well then, good luck Addison

Or people who keep telling themselves things will get better (shows Callie and George lying in bed. George is not talking and Callie is looking over at him)

We could be the people who commit, and stop the avoiding (shows mer knocking on Derek's trailer door. Derek comes out a little surprised to see mer)

Mer: I'm sticking

(Derek smiles and hugs mer)

We could be the people that hope for the best, but prepare for the worst (shows izzie lying down on her bed, then cristina making a sandwich)

Or…we could be the people that completely shock us (there's a knock on the door at Mer's house. Alex goes to open it)

Alex: Ava?

END OF EPISODE (NEXT EPISODE: LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL….READ AND REVIEW)


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